The Great Big Pause

For the first time in a while, I am having to pause and go back to basics. It is not about me though. This is an unprecedented situation for the entire world and I look at it differently now, comparing to two weeks ago.

Two weeks ago, I was taking it personally. Yes, my "selfish-self" was taking it personally. I had many plans, and I was being told they would not materialise any time soon.

There was the trip to Italy to celebrate our wedding anniversary. I have never been before and I was already imagining myself strolling in the sun in a floaty dress, admiring the sights whilst stuffing my face with real pizza. Of course, it was the universe sabotaging my dream trip.

There were the birthday plans. I was excited that for once my birthday falls on a Saturday. I had lots of fun things planned. My sister was coming over from another country, my girlfriends were joining us. As it got closer to my birthday, most flights were cancelled, all pubs, bars and restaurants shut down. Of course it was some kind of curse.

During the last two weeks, I went through a grieving process over my social life. I was in denial, then I was angry (imagine a little girl on the floor, kicking and screaming), then I felt like bargaining, then I was depressed, finally came the acceptance. The "balance" is restored for now.

Now I am having to pause. We all are having to pause and change our habits. Do I need to buy this now? Do I need to buy this at all? There is plenty of time for reflection. 

My ruined plans seem very insignificant in the grand scheme of things. The only hard bit is having to stay away from people I want to spend time with. However, it is not all bleak. I can stay home and stay connected.

I wonder if anyone else feels that life was much slower in the pre-internet/pre-mobile era, though. Summer holiday seemed to have lasted forever. I do miss that feeling. 21st century is far from slow and the pace, the information overload and the social media exposure are no doubt taking the toll on our mental states. Perhaps it will do us good to slow down a little.

As we move our lives indoors, we still have a lot to juggle. Nevertheless, I hope we will use our great pause to do something worthwhile, something that makes others smile.

Little signs of positivity are popping up all over the place like spring flowers. Thank you to all of you trying to maintain scraps of normality. I am loving Joe's PE lessons, David's audio stories, Margaret's books to read while in self-isolation and many more. They give me the much needed boost.

🌈🌻🌼🌷🌹🌺🌈🌻🌼🌷🌹🌺🌈🌻🌼🌷🌹🌺🌈🌻🌼🌷🌹🌺🌈🌻🌼🌷🌹🌺🌈